Extended Engagement

Derrek Lee agreed to a five year contract extension, and all over Chicago sports columnists are cursing under their breaths. It’s nothing against Lee, mind you. It’s just that they hate to see a perfectly good script go to waste like that.

Perhaps the most frustrated of all the scribes is our old friend Dr. Phil, who had set all of his Cubs columns for the rest of the year up so nicely with this piece of journamalism. I must admit that my chuckling was even darker and more mordant when I read the ominous subhead on the story: “Lee contract debate festered too long.”

As the good Doctor notes:

…[C]ontractual questions about Hendry, Baker, and the team’s best player, Derrek Lee, are drawing attention away from the field. It’s the second time in three years that MacPhail’s management team has allowed off-season business to intrude into the season…Lee, for one, seems tired of the lack of direction.

Oh, fickle human nature! Have you no regard for the well-crafted scripts of the press? Lee may have seemed tired on Friday, when the Doctor first put fingertips to keyboard. But by Monday he was more than happy to sign up for another five years of directionlessness.

But Dr. Phil is crafty – so crafty, in fact, that he left himself an out for this very eventuality:

Lee wants to be paid like the MVP candidate he was in 2005. But his batting average dropped from .378 in the first half to .287 in the second half, which makes you wonder if he truly has joined the elite or remains merely above average.

Well played, sir! Now the only question is how long does Dr. Phil wait to start bashing the Cubs for overpaying for Lee. I give him until the All-Star Break.

[Lee’s signing also robbed the Chicago media of another old chestnut. There have been plenty of comparisons between Lee’s negotiations and those of Greg Maddux back in 1992. Would the Cubs botch Lee’s contract – just like they did with Maddux? How tragic would that be?

[Unfortunately, the story about the botched Maddux negotiations is just that – a pleasing story that people just can’t get enough of. Journamalists can’t get enough of it because it makes their job so easy – what could be easier than a simple story of a noble hero (Maddux) and a wicked villain (then-Cubs GM Larry Himes) that serves to reinforce their world view (boy, those Cubs sure are stupid, aren’t they?).

[As pleasing as this myth is, anyone who was paying attention at the time knows it’s not true. But that’s a story for another time…]

At any rate, Lee is a Cub for the next five years, and I guess it’s a good thing. Someone said to me after news of the signing broke, “All your worries are over now.”

I don’t remember being all that worried about it one way or the other. Even so, I’m a little uncomfortable with the five-year deal, just as I would be with any five-year deal. I’m of the firm opinion that anything more than one year plus an option is begging for trouble. But if we have to roll the dice on a long-term deal, I’m glad we took the chance on Lee. He may be merely above average…but that’s still better than Mark Grace (snarky, snarky, snarky…).

** I would be remiss if I did not mention our famous three-game sweep of the Cardinals. The naysayers are already doing their best to “pish-tosh” the stunning events last weekend. But to them, I say “phooey-kablooey!”

Because they are our Honored Adversary, and series against Saint Louis carries more import than, say, some crummy inter-league series in May, no matter when it happens, no matter our relative positions in the standings.

Besides, would it have been better to roll over and get swept ourselves? I think not.

** Finally, the early favorite for Journamalism Moment of the Year came on Sunday, after Michael Barrett’s pinch-homer tied Saturday’s game in the seventh inning. The good folks running the Tribune’s web site might want to make sure their web guys know enough to delete the subhead when they enter the new one.

But that’s the hopelessly biased Tribune for you…