The Doctor Is IN!

Phil Rogers isn’t a doctor, but isn’t shy about handing out his medical opinions.

Here’s how he describes Mark Prior’s latest foray onto the DL:

But there’s noting good about shoulder injuries, especially when they happen to a 25-year-old with the potential to be a perennial All-Star. They are probably even worse for a guy who previously has been shelved with elbow problems...

The Cubs are worried enough that they will have Prior huddle with three rather high-priced doctors – [Dr. Lewis] Yocum, team orthopedist Stephen Gryzlo, and team physician Stephen Adams – on Saturday to determine the best way to treat an injury [Cubs trainer Mark] O’Neal calls a “moderate strain of the subscapularis.”

By the way, moderate is not the most comforting description. It’s hard to imagine there is a severe strain, at least not in official terms when describing the injury to reporters. The guess here is there are two levels – mild and moderate, and O’Neal did not say mild.

Note the descriptives Rogers uses. Shoulder injuries are “probably” worse. He “guesses” that there are only two levels of muscle strain, because it’s “hard to imagine” any more than that.

Some physicists believe that ours is not the only universe, that there are an infinite number of parallel dimensions out there. I can only hope that some of those other parallel Earths can boast journalists who go through the tedious bother of basic research before making guesses about what probably will happen. Because it’s getting harder to imagine that any of the media on our benighted planet do…

Look, I’m no more a doctor than Rogers is. But I am capable of typing “moderate strain of the subscapularis” into Yahoo and learning a little something. Things like the difference between chronic and non-chronic strains in the shoulder. In case you were wondering, chronic strains are worse. And while I could find no grading scale for the severity of strains (I did for sprains, but that’s for another story), I’ll go out on the limb and say that a chronic strain would be considered a third level of strain.

I also discovered that muscle strains are more commonly called “muscle pulls.” And that really bad muscle pulls will actually tear the muscle. Which I guess would be a fourth level of strain.

I’m just a schmuck with a blog, and I was able to learn this much in about ten minutes. Rogers is an accredited member of the BBWAA, with a seat in the press box and a Hall of Fame ballot. I’m willing to bet that he’s got access to Yahoo, and the ability to talk to some of those “rather high-priced doctors” to get some real information, without having to rely on guesswork and imagination. So why didn’t he?

Here’s my guess – it’s hard to imagine Rogers as anything other than a lazy hack with an axe to grind. Doing research is hard; better to stick with the script that Prior, Wood, and the Cubs are all doomed. Doomed! Dooooooommmmmmmed!

My crude internet search did not give me any insight into what’s going in Prior’s shoulder. And I’m no doctor, so I don’t really have any clue about when Prior will be back. But I do know that I’d rather take the advice of this doctor (or even this doctor) before I listen to what Dr. Rogers has to say.