He's the Unitary Broadcaster!

As he so often does, Devil Rays color man Joe Magrane had the best line of the night last night. Discussing the strike zone of plate umpire James Hoye, Magrane decreed that the rule book strike zone "is like the Constitution. It's a living document."

"Attorney General" Alberto Gonzalez was unable to comment, as he could not recall what the Constitution is or ever having read it, but a Justice Department spokesperson later said that the rule book does not say that there is a strike zone, only that it cannot be taken away.