Can He Really Be This Dense?

A few big howlers in Dr. Phil's column today...

First, here's his expert opinion on some of Cleveland's bright young things:

There are terrific young players almost everywhere you look in Cleveland, but Jhonny Peralta, Andy Marte, Ryan Garko and even switch-hitting catcher Victor Martinez haven't developed the consistency that marked Cleveland's great teams in the 1990s.

Fair comment about Martinez. And maybe even Peralta (even though he's only been a big-league starter for two years). But the other guys?

For the record, Marte has 244 plate appearances in the Major Leagues. Garko has 210.

And yet Dr. Phil finds ample cause to crack on them for their lack of consistency! The hell???

But Dr. Phil has access to the clubhouses, press box, and a Hall of Fame ballot. So I guess that means he knows what he's talking about. Two hundred-odd PA's are more than enough time for a player to show what he can do.

Moving on, here's how Dr. Phil describes the state of two team's outfields. Team 1:

Manager Ned Yost benched him last year. [Geoff] Jenkins, once the cornerstone in Milwaukee, came back to hit .409 with seven homers in September but still was viewed as expendable in a crowded outfield that has Bill Hall in center, Corey Hart in right and Kevin Mench, Brady Clark, Gabe Gross and Tony Gwynn Jr. in the left-field picture with Jenkins.

And Team 2:

Somebody is going to have to explain how the Cubs have room for Jacque Jones, Cliff Floyd and Daryle Ward on the same roster.

Great googaly moogaly. Someone is going to have give Dr. Phil a nudge during those boring, long-winded press conferences down in the cramped, overheated Wrigley press room.

Both Hendry and Piniella have talked about Floyd platooning in left with Matty Murton. Ward was brought in to waste...errr...take Mabry's pinch-hitter/backup 1B role. And God only knows if Jones will break camp with us. Besides, the point will be moot come May when Floyd gets hurt again.

The Brew Crew has seven outfielders and in Dr. Phil's world the Milwaukee OF is merely "crowded."

The Cubs bring in a bench guy and have two outfielders who probably would make a decent platoon combo. And Dr. Phil is demanding explanations as to how they can possible carry all those bodies?

Just when you think Dr. Phil can't top himself, he ends his column with this:

The Cubs should go to camp with at least 15 solid choices for the 12 jobs on the pitching staff. The doesn't count anyone from the group of prospects that includes Sean Gallagher, Carlos Marmol, Angel Guzman, Juan Mateo, Jae Kuk Ryu, Clay Rapada and Rocky Cherry. Ex-manager Dusty Baker never was blessed with this much depth.

Fifteen pitchers and seven prospects for 12 roster spots? That's "depth."

But carrying Jones, Floyd, and Ward? That's too much for Dr. Phil to wrap his brain around. Somebody "explain" to him how the Cubs can do that!

Can he really be that dense? Can he seriously take players with 200 career plate appearances to task for inconsistency? Can he seriously not understand how a team might want an extra outfielder and first baseman?

If I told you that there were baseball "experts" puzzled by these things, you'd never believe me. You'd think I was making it up, because there's no way any rational person can be this stupid.