Don't Let The Door Hit Your Fat, Knighted Ass On The Way Out

Why did this not surprise me one bit? This is my suggestion to any team thinking about giving him another chance: don't. Sidney Ponson is a fat, drunken, boorish jerk who has now worn out his welcome with six major league teams while running up an 86-102 record with a substandard career ERA. Someone should remind Ponson that you can be fat, a jerk, or even both and stay in the majors if you show results. Below average players with those qualities run out of chances fast.