Not Exactly a Honus Wagner

So I rip open a pack of Topps Opening Day 2007 this afternoon, hoping for a Derrek Lee, Aramis Ramirez, or Rich Hill. Hell, I’d settle for a Hank White. (Already scored my ’07 Carlos Zambrano, so no worries there...)

Actually, I’d settle for any player. I just like baseball cards. Nothing wrong with that.

But I like baseball cards that are actually related to players. Alas, Gentle Reader, my pack of six cards contained the Phillies Phanatic, the Swinging Friar, and Lou Seal (for some bizarre reason, the Giants’ mascot is a seal).

I’m not a mascot fan. Not in real life, and certainly not on my three-and-a-half by two-and-a-half inch nuggets of joy. I never thought that I’d see a group of cards that I’d want even less Topps’ insert set of the signers of the Constitution, but I was wrong…