Paranoid Much?

Normally, I wouldn't bother to make fun of Jose Canseco. But this little nugget of joy, as reported by the Trib's David Haugh, set off the WTF Alarm in my head:

A courtesy cup of black coffee was waiting for Jose Canseco on Friday when he arrived at his seat inside a downtown bookstore to sign copies of his second tell-all about steroids and baseball, "Vindicated."

Before Canseco took out a pen, he sent the beverage back.

"Who made this coffee? If you don't know who made it, you've got to dump it," Canseco snapped at a store employee. "No way they are going to get me."

They?

So began the latest stop on Canseco's Me Against the World Tour.

Wearing sunglasses he chose not to remove, Canseco called Major League Baseball a "powerful mafia," gave a detailed account of how he once injected former White Sox teammate Magglio Ordonez with steroids inside the U.S. Cellular Field clubhouse and flexed an ego that has never needed enhancement.

About half an hour after Canseco refused his coffee in a paranoid snit, another worker returned with a fresh cup she said she had just made herself. "Good—thank you," Canseco said.

You know, I've said some pretty mean things about Baron Budhausen and his cronies before. But I don't think they'd actually try to assassinate someone who's ticking them off. Perhaps Canseco is exaggerating his affect on the Commissioner's Office?

On the other hand, what do I know? As the saying goes...just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean that they're not out to get you, too...