Just in Case You Have a House That Gets Hit by Lightning All the Time, or in Case You Have a Loved One Cryogenically Frozen in Your Basement

If it weren't for the unintentionally funny e-mails I get from some of my co-workers, this would be the most hi-sprockin'-larious thing I've read in a long, long time.

Thank you, Mr. Kermit, for teaching us to laugh at love -- again.

Ball Hawks

The guys at chicagosports.com put up some audio of Reds' broadcaster Marty Brennaman blasting Cub Fans because a bunch of idiots in the bleachers threw balls on the field after a Reds homer the other night.

Just a few thoughts on that...

** Marty's right -- throwing the ball back is lame. It was amusing the first time someone did it. No, wait...that's a lie. It was never amusing. Cub Fan, I implore you -- stop. Just stop.

** Marty goes on to say that there were "fifteen or eighteen" balls on the field, and elaborates that that is "so typical" of Cub Fan.

Eighteen idiots threw balls on the field. More than 39,000 other people (some of them idiots, some not) repressed the urge to hurl anything out of the stands. Is eighteen a large enough sample in this group to call it "typical" of the group?

** And just for good measure, Marty adds that people throwing baseballs on the field after home runs are one of the reasons why he roots against the Cubs. And then caps it all off by saying that you know there's just no way the Cubs will win the division this year because they're the Cubs, and will find a way to mess it up.

Is this part of the pass that one of the Chicago teams keeps getting? Just curious...

The Clutch Is The One On The Left

Detroit broadcaster Mario Impemba just pointed out that Edgar Renteria "hit .331 with runners in scoring position last year. Clutch indeed."

Renteria hit .332 last year. Is hitting a point less than your overall average any indication of being an extra special hitter in the clutch?

Don't Say It's So, Joe

It seems that Bob and I aren't the only ones who think that Joe Morgan is among the very worst baseball analysts ever. Check out a couple of other examples here and here.

As Mushnick points out, the only problem with Joe's little Phillies story is that it never happened. Well, it sort of happened, but in the wrong year and in a game that didn't involve a famous pennant race. Look it up for yourself on Retrosheet. Joe Morgan made his major league debut on September 21, 1963, pinch hitting for Don Nottebart in the third inning. He popped out to Tony Taylor. He did have a game winning RBI single in the bottom of the ninth the next night, off of Johnny Klippstein. And knowing Gene Mauch, he may well have overturned a table after the game. But not because the Phillies were blowing a pennant; the 1963 Phillies finished 12 games out.

The Phillies did play the Colt 45's six times in September 1964, all of them before the historic losing streak started. The Phillies won four of the six games. Joe Morgan didn't play in any of them.

Joe Morgan has one very famous game winning single to his credit. I'm not sure why he needed to make up another one. Perhaps because he's a terrible broadcaster with nothing of any value to contribute?

Those Darn Stat Geeks

Just enjoying the Sandberg Game DVD today. NBC's Bob Costas said during his broadcast of the game that walks and on-base percentage are the two most overlooked stats in the game.

He's also noted how the park effects at Busch Stadium depress the Cardinals' home run numbers.

This may scandalize some folks who consider Costas as a defender of all that is traditional and pure in baseball. Who'd have thought that he'd be promulgating this kind of Moneyball stat-geekery way back in 1984?

Best Broadcaster Line of the Day (So Far)

Joe Magrane, Tampa Bay Devil Rays TV color man:

"Alex Rodriguez is playing at a level that only dogs can hear."

Magrane and his partner, Dewayne Staats, are among the best broadcast teams in MLB. With the talent on the field now catching up to the talent in the booth, D-Rays games are fun to watch.

Update: Staats just dropped a Rocky the Flying Squirrel reset. These guys are moving closer to the top spot on my ranking.