Oh, that Ken Williams, always something up his sleeve. If not an ace, then a king.
Ken Griffey Jr., in center field at the Cell?
A cause to rejoice -- set off the fireworks.
Uhhh...One wonders if Downey realizes Junior hasn't played center field since 2006. And wasn't particularly good at playing center field back then, either.
Oh, well. Set off the fireworks! Everyone gets a pony!
Negative props to the media as a whole for keeping this story afloat. One could say that they were blowing it out of proportion...
As a Cub Fan, I've witnessed the media make a huge deal out of some real stupid [bleep] (if I may quote Ozzie Guillen). From Dusty's toothpicks to Sammy's boom box to Lou's next big blow up, there's nothing the media loves more than something stupid that gets people riled up. This blow-up doll story is on par with that other stuff.
Oh, it's tasteless (as is the concept of the "Slump Buster"). But GM Kenny Williams has addressed the issue, and assures us it shan't happen again. That's good enough for me.
Anyway, if the Sox were really serious about busting their slump, they wouldn't mess around with ordinary blow-up dolls -- they'd go right for the good stuff. One of these things was a staple in the locker room of Madison's former pro hockey team. At least it was until a very tough loss in the playoffs...
The whole thing is utterly hi-frickin'-larious on so many levels. An unnamed reporter set Ozzie off by having the audacity to joke that perhaps some A-ball outfielder might be called up to help the big club generate some offense. Ozzie's reponse:
Tired of ''all the managers in the press box and at home, watching the game on TV and spilling food on themselves,'' Guillen became the story before a 4-3 loss Sunday to the Toronto Blue Jays. In what never rose to the emotional level of some of his previous rants, Guillen made his feelings known about the perceived treatment he and his organization get in the Windy City.
''Right now, everyone in Chicago is making lineups, 'Call up this guy, call up that guy,''' Guillen said. ''If we had 50 people allowed on the roster, we could do that. That's what ticks me off about Chicago fans and Chicago media -- they forget pretty quick. A couple of days ago, we were the [bleep]ing best [bleep] in town, now we're [bleep].''
Because, as we all know, Ozzie is the only manager who's ever had his lineup questioned. Ever.
Asked why that is, Guillen pulled no punches.
''Because maybe the manager is an ass[bleep],'' he replied.
Finally -- Ozzie says something I can agree with 100%.
Here's where Ozzie truly takes a turn into Bizarro World.
Guillen said that the only way the perception of the Sox ever would change is by winning, but even after they did in 2005, it hasn't taken long for it to wear off.
''We won it a couple years ago, and we're horse[bleep],'' Guillen said. ''The Cubs haven't won in 120 years, and they're the [bleep]ing best. [Bleep] it, we're good. [Bleep] everybody. We're horse[bleep], and we're going to be horse[bleep] the rest of our lives, no matter how many World Series we win. We are the bitch of Chicago. We're the Chicago bitch. We have the worst owner -- the guy's got seven [bleep]ing rings, and he's the [bleep]ing horse[bleep] owner.''
One thing everyone associated with the White Sox will tell you is that they just don't care about what those darned Cubs do, 'cause their team is enough to keep the occupied. I'll run the risk of mind-reading and say that many of those people are lying through their teeth. Ozzie's boss cried about it earlier this year; now, Ozzie takes his turn.
Who the hell brought up the Cubs? And what do they have to do with someone making a weak joke about adding some pop to the lineup?
What does it say about Guillen that a dumb question from a reporter should spin completely out-of-control like that? It's not like he defended his decision-making; instead, he was able to move from the dumb question to "Everybody hates me" to "Everybody hates my team" to "Everybody loves those other guys more."
Sweet zombie Jesus -- and they said that Dusty was sensitive!
If Guillen lived in the real world instead of whatever Ozzie-verse he inhabits, he'd realize that (a) every manager in the Major Leagues gets asked stupid questions about his lineups, his rotation, his bullpen, the hotshot prospects tearing it up in the bush leagues, etc., etc. and (b) whatever sins (real of imagined) Chicago has committed against his team are committed in equal measure against those other guys.
Anyone who can read the web sites of the two Chicagodailies would see that. Guillen's been around the block -- he should realize that the only thing the media loves more than a winner is a loser they can beat up on. The only thing they hate are boring, mediocre teams that are hard to write about.
"How about the Cubs celebrating that Lee Elia bull[bleep]? How many times do I curse people out? I will make a lot of money with my [stuff]. I have to keep going because in the future Ozzie will need money, and I can say, 'Here, give me money, here's the 10-year anniversary of my time I called [Jay] Mariotti stuff and the time I went on the radio and cursed out Mike North.'
"Yeah, we have to celebrate all that [stuff] too. But I won't be around for 10 years, believe me."
I know it's hard for Guillen to keep tabs on what's going on in what I like to call Reality...but the Cubs didn't "celebrate" Lee Elia at all. The media loved it, and brought it up every change they got. Elia took the opportunity to apologize (I never thought he owed Cub Fans one, but I'll accept it on behalf of all of us if it makes him feel better) and sell some stuff to benefit some charity.
There was no Lee Elia Day at Wrigley. He didn't throw out the first pitch, or sing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game." He did go to a game, but he had to get a ticket from a friend to get in the park -- no comp seat from his ex-employers (damn cheapskates).
Then again, when has Guillen allowed the facts to get in the way of his gab?
In an article printed today, Sully re-hashes Carlos Zambrano's "fit" from Friday night and openly calls Zambrano "crazy as ever."
Meanwhile, Dave van Dyck advances the White Sox' assertion that they're not a bunch of "whiners." As you may have heard, Ozzie Guillen accused an umpire of having a vendetta against him, and Jim Thome was recently tossed for complaining about a called strike.
Apparently, those were not "fits," and Ozzie isn't as "crazy as ever."
It's the laziest post of the week, as I just don't feel like thinking all that much...
** Listening to the Rays/Mariners game tonight, I just heard what could be the greatest radio promotion of all time!
If you bring a radio to the Trop, and one of crew there spots you with it, they'll give you a game ball. And a chance to give a shout-out on the air.
OK, so it's not much. Still, I think it's pretty cool.
** As far as bloggers go, Sully makes me look like someone who puts effort into it. He rarely posts anything that isn't a cut-and-paste from his pieces in the next day's paper (unlike White Sox beat reporter Mark Gonzales, who seems to understand that the blog provides a medium that offers the opportunity to post in real time).
** Fire Joe Morgan's Ken Tremendous presents a cogent write-up of what I consider to be the greatest moment in the history of ESPN Sunday Night Baseball. I mean, did the guys at ESPN really expect the umpire to say something not bleep-worthy after getting drilled in the face with a pitch?
** I'm not sure what The New Yorker's Roger Angell is trying to say here. I think he's saying that baseball players used steroids because they want to make an assload of money, not because they want to tarnish the game's hallowed records. Any thoughts on that?
** As you may have heard, the pit known as Shea Stadium is closing after this year. And while MLB.com's Michael Bauman mentions one famous non-baseball event held there, I don't understand how he could leave this one out of his column:
If you're ever wondering why the Hall of Fame voters can do such stupid things -- like not voting for your favorite player -- here's a telling example.
One of the Hall of Fame voters typed this up (and allowed himself to smirk over using the word "testicle" one more time). Several other voters lazily waved it into print.
Chicago's city series always draws some bizarre coverage from the Chicago typists...errr...journamalists.
Like last week's Cubs/Sox Cactus League game. The 5-3 White Sox win engendered this piece by Dave van Dyck about the "oddities" he saw.
Yesterday, Jim's crew and my heroes battled to an 8-8 tie that saw the Pale Hose choke on leads of 4-0, 5-4 (in the 9th), and 8-5 (in the 10th). Apparantly, there was absolutely nothing odd about the game, because Sully's waste of newsprint didn't mention the game at all.
Sully's only query -- Are the Milwaukee Brewers being overlooked?
Short answer: no. But if you want to spend 670 words reading about it, click here.
Unsurprisingly, the Cubs' game recap mentioned how Kevin Hart and Scott Eyre blew up in the ninth and tenth innings, respectively. On the White Sox recap, the bullpen did a bang-up job, despite blowing the three-run lead in the tenth.
During the game third baseman Josh Fields was hit hard on his right forearm with a pitch and afterward it was learned reliever Scott Linebrink wouldn't pitch asscheduled Friday because of back pain.
Will the ragging ever end? Lay off the guy, Mark! It's just minor back pain in March. What's the big deal???
And speaking of happy days (not the ones with Ralph Malph), it's now just five days, 23 hours, and 24 minutes until pitchers and catchers begin to report. Not that I'm counting...
One thing I can say for Kenny Williams...he doesn't sit still over the winter and he's not afraid to roll the dice on a trade. The disaster of 2007 left him a lot of mess to clean up over the winter, and all things considered I think he did very well.
When we last left our heroes, they featured an outfield in which the three most used players combined for 31 home runs. Twenty eight of them came from Jermaine Dye, whose season was otherwise quiet pedestrian. They had traded the second baseman, the third baseman was injured, and the shortstop had a .284 on-base percentage. And compared to half of the starting rotation and almost the entire bullpen, all of that didn't even look that bad.
With the media pretty fixated on the Johan Santana trade and the Roger Clemens Mitchell report yawner, Williams worked under the radar. Without a lot of fanfare, he has, at least on paper, improved the club in every one of it's weak areas.
The outfield now features, Dye, Nick Swisher, and Carlos Quentin. Quentin may or may not pa out, but I still like him and think it's a very worthwhile risk. Cuban product Alexei Ramirez goes into camp with a chance to take over at second base, another gamble, but another one with upside. Williams gave up Jon Garland, a decent but not great starter, and acquired Orlando Cabrera to take over at short, a huge jump in OBP at the position.
I'm not as thrilled by the additions in the bullpen; but I will have to admit that both Octavio Dotel and Scott Linebrink should be far better than the guys they replace.
The only spot not tended to was the starting rotation; given what the options were this winter, that is just as well. There is no way that the Sox were going to be in the market for Santana, and the free agent pool was a lot of regret just waiting to happen. Unless you think that the Sox should have been chasing Tony Armas, Mark Redman, or Carlos Silva. They did make an incentive based offer to Bartolo Colon, which wasn't a bad idea, but he turned it down. Williams may still be pursuing that, however.
Williams also goes into camp with two tradable commodities; Joe Crede and Jose Uribe. Either could be moved for a starting pitcher.
Kenny Williams had an off year in the winter of 2006-2007. This year he's back on form.
